You know when you have writer's block and a blank page is the enemy staring you down, blinking cursor, sweaty palms because NOTHING comes out?
This isn't it.
This is quite the opposite. I want to say it ALL, I want to tell everyone EVERYTHING about how the Lord is changing my heart. I want to say how in the silence and quiet He speaks to me softly and asks me to trust. He asks me to look back and when I do I see, I can finally understand just a bit of His wisdom. I want to talk about how overwhelmed I am by His hope, and His expert way of orchestrating everything in the universe to come together for His glory.
I want to talk about how I have come to understand that He wants me to know Him, really know Him, more than than yesterday, tomorrow more than today, and how that knowledge has changed my perspective on the happenings of life.
I want to say that I am letting go and letting Him take over more and more, and maybe that is common knowledge to you, but to me it's a struggle that I battle daily, but that lately has become less foreign and more second nature.
And there's more.
I wish I could say so much more but everything comes at once, and instead of well-thought-out paragraphs all that happens is rambling because words cannot do justice to His work in my life. ALL of the words cannot express what it is like to feel Him working in me, moving in my life. And it now occurs to me that maybe these things are not meant to be explained because when He takes over, His power, might, love, and peace, cause me to be quiet and still, sometimes in awe, sometimes in shock, sometimes in complete submission, and there are just no words to convey that. NONE.
For the time being I will remain here, in this spot of sweet surrender to a relentless love.