Ah if only all wounds healed the same way!
I have been picking at the scar of this old wound in my heart that I thought healed years ago, peeling the ugly scabs, making it bleed again, making me cry, hurting so bad.
And the devil has wasted no time pointing, laughing, repeating "I told you so. It will never go away, you will always be marked, you were never worthy to begin with." Shaming me into seclusion, making me hide again. You think I would recognize his terrorizing tactics having been here before but sometimes the pain is louder than my reason, and my brain just wants to shut down and hide away, it wants to dig a hole into oblivion and never come out.
But love is louder than shame.
And love appeared in the form of my friend Nikki who was able to speak truth into my heart to remind me that these kinds of wounds are not like a broken foot than you nurse back to health in 6 weeks, and feeling them is okay, mourning them is okay, hurting is okay but it needs to be done out loud, like a baby who needs his mother cries for her loudly, so are we to cry for our Father's help. Again. And again. And Again. And again a million times if necessary.
I was never meant for hiding for my Father loves me so much He called me worthy and died for me, for this very wound, for this pain, He made it all His own. I AM WORTHY for His love has made me so.
This weekend is Easter. Let my story be a reminder that Jesus died so that you never have to hide again, we can live in His light, we can share in His glory! Are you in?
P.S. This post reminds me of one of my all time favorite lines from the movie Shrink, when Jemma is talking to Henry about their pain.
Henry: It's never gonna go away, is it?
Jemma: No. But we're still here. That's something.